It is a simple fact that the number of guys refusing to marry is
directly proportional to the number of ladies that are single and
searching, reason being that it is these single guys that have refused
to marry that ought to marry the single ladies that are searching and
praying for husband.
Now, the question is: why do we have an
abnormal increase in the number of single unmarried ladies that are
searching for marriage partner today in Nigeria?
Sit back and
read the preceding paragraphs and you will find out why and how women
(married and single) can help curb this canker-worm eating deep into our
modern Nigeria.
Before we forge ahead, you will agree with me
that 10 to 20 years ago, men dominated the Nigerian workforce, with
fewer number of women occupying top positions, but today, the table has
turned as more women now secure better paying jobs than their male
counterparts.
My personal study into this recent development
showed that most Nigerian organization boss who are mostly men above
45years, prefer to hire pretty single ladies for non-engineering
positions, which put guys in the non-engineering sectors at high risk of
not securing good jobs when competing with ladies for same job
position.
I also discovered that most multinational firms
have a policy that encourages female gender empowerment, which make
their HR team give preferential treatment to ladies seeking for same
position with a male job applicant during recruitment exercise.
You can hardly discover this secret organization policy until you are among the top management.
If
you doubt this, try and go to Victoria Island in Lagos during close of
work; 5 - 6pm (Monday - Friday), and you will notice higher number of
young pretty females leaving their office premises in good cars, with
few young guys leaving their workplaces in a car.
If you are
observant enough, you will also discover that most of the male workers
driving home from work are usually within the age range of: 38 - 60yrs,
whereas more ladies within the age range of; 25 - 35yrs drive home from
work, showing that more young ladies now have better jobs than guys.
This is also applicable to Abuja: same study was carried out within Central Business District of Abuja, CBD.
To
many Nigerians, especially the ladies, it is a good trend; at least to
them, it shows that ladies are becoming independent from guys, and to
the old working class male directors and managers, it means nothing
because they are at the receiving end (sleeping with these young pretty
ladies for jobs, promotion, contracts, etc), but not until their own
daughter(s) graduate from Harvard University or London School of
Economics and returns back home to take up an executive position in her
dad's big firm, but only to go to bed every night weeping and soaking
her pillows with tears simply because there is no responsible young man
in her life ready to walk her to the altar and they live happily ever
after like she reads from foreign novels and watch on Telemundo series.
No
wonder many rich parents are now arranging marriage for their
daughters; yet this doesn't solve the imminent problem of abnormal
increase in single young people in Nigeria of today.
Now,
what am I blabbing about? The major reason we have increasing rate of
single ladies in Nigeria today is not because witches in the villages
have increased in number and now pursuing single ladies and stopping
them from finding suitable husbands just as many modern pastors make
these single ladies to believe in order to extort money from them &
to grow their congregation, it is not even because single ladies of
today lack good character or manner, neither is it because single ladies
now dress indecently....nope, the major reason is harsh economy that is
no longer favoring young single guys!
How do we expect a
guy who graduated from higher institution and served his fatherland
after 3 years and still unable to rent a decent apartment for himself,
unable to cater for his own daily needs to think about getting married
in this time and age?
How do we expect a young guy who after 4
to 5 years of passing out from NYSC is yet to secure a job that pays
him up to a hundred thousand naira, and give him the opportunity of
saving at least fifty thousand naira every month to wish to marry and
give birth to children?
The earlier we Nigerians realize the
dangers of having more young guys without good job, the better for us as
a nation that wish to grow and have a happy, crime-free society.
I
know some people will say: marriage is not everyone, while others will
argue that must everybody marry? And the answer is yes, anybody who
desires to marry ought to marry, but is that the case today? No!
Many
young men want to marry, but the truth is that their pocket isn't
encouraging to take that bold step that marriage requires.
Some
will also argue that must you wait till you have millions before you
marry? And some will argue that marriage is not about money, but tell
me: how do you sustain the kids that will follow after the wedding? How
do you plan to pay for house rent, children increasing school fees, etc?
Do
you want to plan the future of your kids on one rich relation or
friend? That's unfair to the unborn innocent children you want to bring
to life, please don't do it!
I know that not every guy or lady
will be rich, but being comfortable to provide most of your needs should
be compulsory at least!
I still remember the story of Adam and
Eve which I read from “The Book of My Bible Stories” while I was a kid,
it told us how God created man, Adam and gave him everything he needed
and Adam will go to his garden in the morning to return at night lonely,
such that God pitied him and said: it is not good for him to be alone, I
will make him a help mate, and so God made Adam to fall deep asleep and
then God came and removed one of Adam's ribs and made Eve for him.
Adam
woke up and saw Eve and was excited and said: this is the bone of my
bone, flesh of my flesh (dunno if I quoted those words correctly).
What am I trying to say? God gave Adam his basic needs before sending him a woman!
A man deserves to have his basic needs met before thinking of getting married.
But
it is so shameful that old married men in Nigeria occupying top
positions in various organisations and firms gave and still giving jobs
to single unmarried ladies who most times contribute nothing to the organization's growth, thereby causing more unemployment and
underemployment of young single Nigerian guys, with a resultant effect
of late marriage amongst these young single guys.
Shameful
enough, many organizations today hire ladies by their physical
attraction; once a member of the HR team admires the female applicant,
whether she merits the job or not, he must ensure that she gets hired to
the disadvantage of her male counterparts who most times have better
skills to offer to the organization.
THE SOLUTIONFirst,
we must tell ourselves the truth: in Nigerian culture and norm, men are
believed and expected to be the breadwinner of the family; the woman is
only expected to assist and contribute if she has and can.
Bearing
this in mind, majority if not all Nigerian single ladies searching for a
life partner want and desire to marry a guy earning higher income than
them.
All things being equal, no Nigerian single lady prays to marry a guy she's earning more than; very uncommon in Nigeria.
But
then, we have few single guys in Nigeria who earn that kind of income
most Nigerian single ladies desire from their preferred partner. And as
it stands presently in Nigeria, more single ladies between the age range
of 25yrs - 35yrs have better paying jobs than single guys of the same
age range, which means many single ladies in Nigeria will never find
husband to marry except they lower their taste and marry a guy earning
below them or they become second wife to older men.
All these
anomalies were caused by older Nigerian men who set the wrong legacy
for this nation in terms of bad leadership, sex-for-job in favor of
single ladies, and more...and for this status quo to change, every
Nigerian citizen must play a role to bring the much desired change we
dream of in Nigeria, how?
1. As a young single lady
working in a company, say no to the maltreatment of young single guys in
your organization because the more these guys are penalized and made
not to grow, the more chances of you, your single sister, niece, friend
or even aunt not finding a deserving husband to marry.
2. All
HR personnel must ensure equity and fairness when hiring applicants for
any job position. Stop the female gender empowerment; enough is enough,
its not helping Nigeria, neither is it helping the world in general.
Women are happier when their husband or man is in charge financially than when they are in charge...even in Europe!
3.
As a single lady, lower your financial expectation from guys- the table
is turning, fewer guys now have good means of income compared to
ladies; you ladies asked for gender equality, you now have it, please
make use of it, don't wait for a richer guy...if you are driving and you
see a guy trekking whom you fancy, lift him and don't be shy to startup
a focused-relationship with him...waiting for the richer guys driving
bigger cars than yours may keep you waiting for eternity and may bring
you more heartbreak because such guys now know that they are king to
women and so they treat ladies with little/no respect.
4.
Encourage your single brothers to work hard, acquire skill, learn trade
and explore business opportunities even if they are working. Help them
with business startup capital...doing so will help create a deserving
husband for a fellow single lady out there.
5. Stop squandering that single guy's money!
Advice
him to invest his income wisely! Encourage him to startup a side
business to assist his salary because no salary is enough!
6. As a single guy, learn to be financially wise!
Quit
those useless habits that drains your income! Quit smoking! Quit
drinking! Quit gambling! Quit womanizing; its a costly hobby! Quit
clubbing around town! Quit squandering money on any girl who isn't your
wife! Learn to invest, learn to nurture a business aside your job and
learn to spend lesser than you earn! Don't use your last savings to buy a
car just to feel among or just to attract irrelevant ladies! Car is
more of a necessity until you become rich! For now, buying car should be
to aid your financial growth and not for fun or pleasure!
7.
As a single lady, pray for your single brothers, boyfriend, lover, or
male friends and colleagues. Advice and encourage them whenever you can.
It is no longer easy for single young guys in Nigeria even though most of them won't confess this to you due to male ego!
Let's
all wake up to the reality and pray that President Buhari and his team
bring about the positive change in Nigeria's economy to help curb this
societal pressure.
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